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My Sleepy Bed

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My Sleepy Bed

Picture of my bed. I slept constantly. If I wasn’t sleeping I would try to go to sleep.  I know that the anxiety and stomachache and I know that meds have to be in your system for a period of time.  It is just very difficult when you have a change in med and it is difficult sometimes as you are waiting for them to change the situation, make it feel better. There were days that I couldn’t even go to work and I would go to sleep crying and wake up crying. It is really hard when you are dealing with the public to be friendly. There were days I wanted an office job and I would not have to deal with people. The bed was very representative of how I spent most of my winter and spring months until I got on the meds that I’m on now. That picture is very significant of where I spent that time [until the med worked]. When that happens to me, I do not even have the ability to focus on anything. I can’t even focus on the tv if I’m watching a tv show I can’t even focus that. If there is a project that I want to crochet I can’t even focus on how to stitch.  I did have a few [clothing] alterations that I was able to do but they were super simple and I could not do anything too difficult. I lost like 15 pounds because my stomach was hurting so bad.  It was a result of the situation and I was just waiting for the meds to start working. I think that as a provider you could say to people you may have ups and downs.  But to show them you may be spending all your time here (lifts picture of bed) I don’t think that would be a good idea. But I think as a provider to know in the back of your mind know that this may happen to patients.  Certainly, I would rather end up here (bed) rather than suicide.  I know that you deal with this a lot because more thoughts happen during med change and that has to be a scary thought for providers. I know that we all have different chemical make-up and meds are all made some many different chemicals in them.  I would certainly hope that in the future we can do something to match up our genetic make-up or blood test matching.  It is scary because it is definitely more prevalent in our society with suicide…For me, I think the most important things is to recognize when things are changing. This might be an education for you to tell patients to listen to your body.  For me, I have a pain that comes into this ear, had it checked out years ago, but as I paid more attention to it, I get the pain when more stress comes on.  If that pain comes, I’m like what is happening, why am I getting this pain?  But the dentist said there is nothing wrong. So I notice if things are good I may only have it 1 or 2 times a year but if things are bad then I may have the pain multiple times a day.  Listen to your body.  Stomach aches, headaches, muscle pain, if a person can evaluate and if your body is hurting, then listen to your body.  Think inside myself and is there something in my life that is affecting my anxiety or my depression.  That might be a good thing for clients–it works for me.  Address it before you may need a med change or before the depression can come back. Try to teach people to be proactive and reactive.  That has worked for me.