My Coworker

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My Coworker

Person I work with at night. She has dealt with a lot of the issues like I have. She was just somebody that takes medicines and has depression and has just been a real good support. She, a lot of times when we talk about things, she knows that I know what is happening to myself.  She was actually the one who suggested that I take Vivarin. She said why don’t you just try it until you can see your doctor.  It took a long portion of the night before I tried. She said she would keep an eye on me. She knows about my blood pressure and other medical issues.  She just knows what to say and supports me well, better understanding of what is going on with me, and more than my family. I have always been more of a pessimist rather than someone who thinks more positively. But in my life I feel like I have given to people in my life and then that screws you up with them. They take those vulnerable parts of you and take advantage of you. It is a humanity issues and I have become very hateful of people because of this over my life.  I have become more of a recluse. I just don’t hang out with people any more. I don’t have friends that I hang out with but I do hang out with grandchildren and children. I feel safer in a shell and because of the anxiety and depression and what I’ve seen in my life.  I need to feel safe, safe in my own home, I don’t want to let things in were I see red flags.  If I see any type of red flag, then adios, I don’t need it. I don’t care, I really don’t care.  I do lot of things for myself, I have lots of plants, crocheting, I have an alterations business. [I would educate others:] Be, if you know somebody that understands or maybe is willing to understand, see if you need to be a person because of that.  Be careful of who that person is. It is nice to have somebody to talk to who deals with these issues.  [I would educate healthcare providers:] As a health care provider, ask that question—“Do you have any body that supports you?”  Maybe some sort of support group, I have never participated but I could imagine that they would be helpful.  I tend to deal with things internally until it gets to a point that I need help.  It was really helpful to have someone at my job that I could go to and I didn’t need to go out of my own space. As a health care provider to ask or if you can’t be there then ask, Do you have a support person or group that can help you?” But don’t over use that person, but some of that might be my own thinking versus a depression thinking, I don’t like to be on the phone.  I wouldn’t make a good AA sponsor because I would be willing to help but I would not want to help unless it was on my own time.